Tuesday, December 20, 2011

meditative thoughts from an evergreen state of mind

         Today I have been in "Merica" for one hundred and seventeen days. I'm sitting at a desk eating stale cereal reflecting on all the motions that brought me here and curiosity rushing through my body just wondering if this so called real life will always feel stale. Maybe it will just swallow me whole not even the common courtesy to chew me a little just have some sort of fleeting sense of emotion.
          From this window I can watch trains and boats pass through even see ducks swoop down landing in the cold sound that stretches out before me. Somedays I get a strong urge to run down to those tracks run along side a locomotive waiting for the one car to have its doors still propped open and dive in. Just to keep seeking the adventure that always seems to linger on my lips, always wanting that unfamiliarity and discomfort that keeps my red raider blood flowing.
           But then I snap out of my Kerouac wonderland and start school in three short weeks. For the first time in Nine years I will sit in a class room. Do homework, write papers even pedal to school like junior high. I hope this venture into academia will provide me some enlightened vision quest. Not to make more money then the next guy or seem important or prove anything to anyone but myself. Maybe to show that I'm not that hair gel toting mindless peon that was just a product of the middle class suburban facade that conforms into a box that just gets stacked away checked off that proverbial list of americans who spend and buy, buy bye there life away.